I Chose to Stay

Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.

Everything changed on February 14, 2018.

That was the day of the Stoneman Douglas tragedy, my nieces were enrolled at that Middle School on the shared property. By the grace of God, both were safe. But that day pierced something deep within me, cracking open a place I had kept quiet for too long. In that opening, I felt it: the unmistakable nudge of God. Gentle, firm, undeniable. I was being called back to teaching.

I had spent years away from the classroom. Life had taken me on different paths, and while the desire to return flickered from time to time, I had always pushed it aside. But this was different. I could no longer ignore the pull. It wasn’t just a career change, it was a calling.

That inner prompting led me to apply for an interim kindergarten position at the same public school I taught for 10 years prior to babies. The interview was warm and welcoming. As I drove across the bridge toward the school, I thought about the long commute and the changes it would bring. But I also felt a deep peace, a sense that something bigger than myself was at work.

I was offered the position on the spot and asked to take some time to think it over. That evening, my husband and I had a heartfelt conversation. We didn’t need the extra income, and logistically, it wouldn’t be easy. But we both felt the same thing: this wasn’t about money. It was about purpose. So we agreed to trust that everything would work out as it was meant to.

I accepted the offer that night. My start date was set for late September.

But the week before I was due to return, I began feeling unwell. Subtle symptoms at first. Fatigue. Discomfort. I scheduled an appointment with my gynecologist. During the exam, I caught something in her eyes, a quiet concern she couldn’t quite mask. She stayed calm and professional, but I left the office with a deep, unshakable feeling: something was wrong.

That evening, the doctor who had delivered my children called. Thank God my husband was by my side, because as she spoke, my mind blurred. I caught only fragments: lesion, cancer, chemo, hysterectomy. It wasn’t a confirmed diagnosis, not yet. We’d need to wait 7 to 10 days. But the fear had already arrived.

I called the school immediately. The response I received was nothing short of grace. I was told we’d cross whatever bridge came, and that in the meantime, the children still needed a teacher. That moment gave me peace I didn’t know I needed.

But that night, everything inside me fell apart. After tucking my children into bed, I sat beside my sleeping husband and cried. Silently. Deeply. My two little dogs curled beside me, unaware that I was unraveling inside.

And that’s when it happened.

In the stillness of my grief, I had a vision.

I saw Jesus.

I know how that might sound. But I know what I experienced. I wasn’t dreaming. I wasn’t imagining. He was there, not in a physical sense, but in a presence so powerful, so consuming, that I felt every fear melt away. I was overwhelmed by love. Not the kind we talk about in passing, but the kind that reaches every broken part of you. The kind that knows every scar and doesn’t flinch. The kind that heals by simply being.

I didn’t hear words, but I understood everything.

If I chose to stay, I would be healed. I would be happy.

If I chose to go, I would be reunited with loved ones and I would still be happy.

Either way, I would be safe. Either way, I was held.

And in that moment, I chose to stay.

A few days later, I walked into my kindergarten classroom and greeted my students with a heart full of quiet gratitude. I was gifted eleven beautiful days with them. On the twelfth day, the call came. The diagnosis was confirmed: it was cancer.

Two weeks later, I underwent a radical hysterectomy to remove the tumor.

Recovery was humbling. I had to lean on others, my husband, my family, my friends. Asking for help didn’t come easily. But grace showed up again and again, in meals delivered, in prayers whispered, in the steady hands that held mine.

And here’s the miracle: everything Jesus promised came to pass.

I am cancer-free.

More than that, I am free from fear. Free from the things that once kept me small, quiet, unsure. That experience, the illness, the vision, the healing, transformed me. It deepened my faith, clarified my path, and stripped away every illusion I once clung to.

I was given a second chance at life, and I don’t intend to waste it.

I share this story not for sympathy, but for someone who might be where I once was afraid, uncertain, searching for answers in the dark. I want you to know: you are seen. You are loved. Deeply. Eternally. Without condition. It doesn’t matter your race, your religion, your background, or your gender. God’s love is not limited. It is limitless.

I know that, because I felt it.

And it changed everything

Nona Maria’s

What is your favorite restaurant?

My favorite restaurant is Nona Maria’s. What began as a humble hole-in-the-wall shack tucked away in the middle of nowhere, Florida, has blossomed into a renowned white-tablecloth Italian restaurant with a touch of French elegance. Every dish is a masterpiece—each bite tasting as if it were lovingly crafted in a sun-drenched Parisian kitchen or seared to perfection in a charming Roman café. The experience is less a meal and more a passport to the heart of European cuisine.

When The Miracle Wore Bruises

#SpiritualMiracle #NearDeathExperience #Faith #GodInTheDetails #Healing #Intuition #DivineIntervention

What I saw in the mirror after my husband died… and came back.

By Sandra Allison | Spiritual writer, intuitive, and cancer survivor

There are moments when faith doesn’t arrive in thunder.

It comes quietly, like water running behind a closed door, like breath you didn’t know you were holding.

In the summer of 2021, the world was still gripped by COVID.

But for me, the crisis wasn’t just global, it was terrifyingly personal.

My husband died.

And then… he came back.

But that’s not where this miracle begins.

The Keys, the Mansion, and the Urge to Leave

We had been staying in a stunning beachfront mansion in the Florida Keys, a summer gift from my childhood best friend. A dream vacation. Four or five days of peace and beauty.

But something felt… off.

My children were acting strangely. I felt a heaviness I couldn’t name. My intuition, usually subtle, became urgent. I kept seeing my guides. My emotions ran high. I didn’t know why, but I knew we had to leave early.

We packed up and drove home.

Two days later, my husband coded in the hospital.

A Blurred Warning and a Sandwich

He had started coughing, struggling to breathe, insisting he was fine. I knew he wasn’t. I insisted he go to the hospital. It was still peak COVID, I wasn’t allowed inside.

As he stepped out of the car, something slipped out of my mouth without thought:

“Whatever you do… don’t let them intubate you!”

He looked confused. I didn’t know where it came from. But I said it anyway.

Later that evening, he called me from his hospital room. He was settled in, ordering a sandwich.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said.

He never called in the morning.

The Call That Broke Me

I expected to be transferred to his room.

Instead, I was connected to the ICU charge nurse.

My children were listening on speaker.

“Your husband went into cardiac arrest. Code blue. CPR for fifteen minutes. He’s alive, but in a medically induced coma. His condition is critical. We’re doing everything we can.”

Fifteen minutes.

No pulse.

Fifteen minutes of death.

Machines, Rage, and the Question I Was Afraid to Ask

I stood over his bruised, swollen body. Machines keeping him alive. Doctors warning of brain damage. Possible kidney failure. Telling me to prepare.

I went home and collapsed into prayer.

Only… I wasn’t soft.

I was angry. Furious at the hospital. At the doctors.

At God.

Two years earlier, I had survived cancer. I had prayed for a miracle and received one. But now? Was this punishment? A trade?

“Why did I survive, just to lose him? Was I only promised one miracle?”

The Cheeseburger and the Coma

The next day, I received a call. It was the hospital again.

Only this time, it wasn’t the nurse. It was my husband’s voice.

“I want a McDonald’s cheeseburger.”

I didn’t understand at first. But then he said it again.

“I want a McDonald’s cheeseburger.”

He had woken up, mid-MRI, sat up, hit his head.

But he was awake.

Alive.

And hungry.

The Mirror That Spoke Back

Shortly after he returned home, I left the shower running. I wasn’t bathing, yet. Just letting the steam calm me. I stepped out to grab something, came back…

And there they were.

Two shapes, clear in the steam on my bathroom mirror.

One tall, cloaked in presence.

One smaller- it was me.

And next to them, a bold capital K.

God had come.

And He brought a message I hadn’t expected:

“I didn’t promise you one miracle.

I promised you Myself.”

The “K” was no coincidence.

Dr. K was my husband’s original cardiologist, the one who would eventually treat him after transferring to a new hospital. The right doctor. The right path. The miracle, unfolding piece by piece.

The Truth That Found Me in Steam

My husband survived acute respiratory failure, hypoxia, cardiac and pulmonary embolisms, atrial fibrillation, and COVID. He was gone… and came back. Not just medically, but spiritually.

And through it all, I realized the promise wasn’t broken.

It was bigger than I imagined.

The miracle wasn’t one.

It was many.

It was layered, guided, and divinely timed.

The Creator didn’t speak in thunder.

He showed up in steam.

If you’re reading this…

If you’ve ever questioned if your miracle is still on its way-

If you’ve ever felt abandoned in your darkest hour-

If you’ve ever screamed at God and then heard only silence…

Please know:

Sometimes the miracle is already unfolding.

And sometimes, it shows up in a mirror.

Written by Sandra Allison

Wife, mother, spiritual writer, cancer survivor, and intuitive voice for the voiceless.

Follow me on Medium or WordPress for more sacred essays, memoir reflections, and spiritual storytelling.

Please feel free to respond to this post and share your miracle story.

Nana and Kept Promises 

By Sandra Allison (Sammy Kate)

We weren’t just mother and daughter-in-law, we were colleagues first. We met through teaching, formed a friendship in the trenches of education, and that friendship only deepened as our lives became more entwined. Over time, she became more than family. She became someone I trusted, laughed with, and learned from.

In the 18 years I knew her, I never once heard her complain of pain. Not even when she had every right to. Even with her COPD, she never made a fuss, never rushed to the ER. She was strong, stubborn, and self sufficient. I remember one time I insisted she let me take her to the hospital when her cough just didn’t sit right with me. She ended up staying for three days. For years, she’d bring it up, thanking me again and again for taking her that day.

That’s why I believe she came to me at the end, because she knew I’d never let her suffer. And I didn’t. I kept my promise.

In the days leading up to her death, she hadn’t been feeling well. She was misdiagnosed with constipation and prescribed a strong bowel prep, something typically used for colonoscopy patients. It did what it was supposed to, but something wasn’t right.

When she arrived at our home to see us and the kids, I knew instantly something was off. Her skin was pale, the whites of her eyes had turned yellow, and her balance was unsteady. But what struck me most was how she spoke, more emotionally than usual, sharing regrets, personal wounds, even old betrayals. It was as if she was clearing space.

She was supposed to spend the weekend with us, but the pain in her lower abdomen became too much. I led her to the guest room, helped her get comfortable, and she looked at me and softly said, “Thank you.” I think we both knew, on some level, that this was different.

An hour later, I went to check on her, thinking I’d find her napping. But she wasn’t sleeping. She was pale, sweating, and clearly in pain. I knelt beside her and asked, “What can I do for you, sweetheart?” She could only moan. I gently asked, “Do you need me to call 911?” She paused, then nodded.

I ran to my husband. At first, he thought I might be overreacting, but when he saw her and asked for himself, she gave the same nod. He called.

At the hospital, the diagnosis came quickly and cruelly: her colon had burst. She was in septic shock. Surgery was immediate, but there were no guarantees.

She died three days later.

It was sudden. It was brutal. But she didn’t die in pain or alone. She died with dignity. And I believe with my whole heart she came to our house because she trusted me to do what was right, to speak up when she couldn’t, to make the call, to hold her hand through the worst. I had done it before, and this time, I kept my promise again.

For a while, I waited for a sign. I needed to know she was okay. That she had crossed over in peace.

That week, a red cardinal landed on the windowsill and wouldn’t leave. The scent of her perfume filled the room while I was folding laundry. My daughter would laugh in her sleep, and I’d wonder if Nana had whispered something funny in her ear.

Little things. Powerful things.

She loved ladybugs.

That summer, I was nervous about my son’s first day of camp. My stomach churned with worry as we searched for his group. until we found his cabana. A small sign hung above it, sweet and simple: The Ladybugs. I smiled through tears. I just knew it was Nana.

Later that fall, I stepped outside beneath my favorite tree, craving a moment of peace. There, nestled beneath a soft fern leaf, was a tiny ladybug. Quiet, gentle, unmistakable. Nana was still with us.

During one of the hardest times in our lives, when fear sat like a weight in our chests and we didn’t know how we’d make it, she came to me, between waking and sleep. She glowed with vibrant health, dressed in her favorite shade of peach, and looked like the most beautiful painting I’d ever seen.

She didn’t say much. Just one word.

“Soon.”

And she was right.

Two months later, my husband received a job offer from a company that would change everything for us. We had been held. We had been guided. And even now, when I see a ladybug, I smile.

Nana never left.

She’s still here.

She trusted me in life and I feel her in death. Still showing up. Still letting me know I did right by her.

Love doesn’t die. It just changes form.

Midwife Of The Soul

If you could be a character from a book or film, who would you be? Why?

Not sure if this was written in books or movies, however I am The Midwife of the Soul. Here is why:

I didn’t know I was standing on holy ground.

Not at first.

There were no angels, no flickering candles,

just the ache in his eyes

and the way his strength started to stutter.

A man unraveling from the inside out,

and I saw it.

For I was familiar with that kind of storm.

It was clear. I once walked this same storm, barefoot, alone and burning.

He looked straight at me,

not just at me,

but into me.

“It’s going to happen again,” he insisted.

There was fear in his voice,

the kind that doesn’t need to raise itself to be heard.

It sat heavy between us.

Although I didn’t flinch.

I met his storm with my own fire.

“No, it is not,” I told him.

“Because you are stronger than that.

You are a warrior,

and it’s time to take out your sword.”

I don’t know if he believed me.

But something in him shifted.

Not hope exactly,

but maybe a flicker of recognition.

Like a part of him remembered

he had survived the fire before.

And then his night got darker.

He was scared,

not of death, maybe,

but of what he couldn’t name.

The shadows moved when the lights dimmed.

He flinched when the nurse bumped the rails of the bed.

He told me the sink was flowing like a river,

but the faucet wasn’t on.

He was seeing double.

He was seeing things.

And I… I was seeing him.

The little boy inside the man,

afraid of the dark again.

Afraid of being left behind.

Yet, I didn’t leave.

Given that I knew the signs.

Out of knowing I’d been there before,

watching a soul loosen its grip while the body was still breathing.

Not this time.

Not on my watch.

His own body tried to kick him out.

Tried to evict the very soul that built it.

But I stayed.

Anchored myself in the thinning veil between worlds.

And I held him here,

with words,

with presence,

with faith sharp enough to cut through the fog.

Slowly, piece by piece,

he came back.

One breath.

One blink.

One quiet return.

The fear receded.

The river stopped flowing.

His voice came back, not just the sound, but the strength.

The man I knew stood up inside him again.

He made it out of the night.

This warrior lived.

And me?

I was just the midwife of the soul,

the silent sentinel at the edge of his storm.

The one who said, not this time.

The one who stayed when the lights dimmed.

The one who knew that even in the darkest night,

the soul still knows the way home.

Midwife on the Dark Night of the Soul

(A Follow-Up to Midwife of the Soul)

Weeks before,

my body knew.

A strange buzzing,

soft but persistent,

in the scar where my womb once was,

the exact place midwives center their hands when the soul decides whether to stay or go.

Something was coming.

I said it aloud the night before:

“Something is coming… and it’s not for me.”

But I didn’t know what or who.

Not yet.

And then the next morning arrived,

strange, heavy, off-kilter.

The office halls were dark.

Only mine was glowing,

its light left on from the night before,

like a beacon.

My password wouldn’t work.

Not once. Not twice.

As if I was being held in place.

Delayed.

Stalled.

Timed perfectly.

For it was divine.

All of it.

The stall. The stillness. The summons.

The soul whisper that said:

“Go now.”

And I did.

Three days later, I sit with all of it,

the weight, the wonder, the truth,

and I am not broken.

I am proud.

Proud that my friend chose me in his most vulnerable hour.

Proud that my body whispered what my mind didn’t yet know.

Proud that my guides delayed me just enough

so that I could arrive in the sacred moment between life and retreat.

Proud that no one stopped me

when I said I wouldn’t leave.

Proud that another soul stepped in when I had done my part,

to finish the task with the same reverence I carried.

Proud that my friend took out his sword,

not because I told him to,

but because he remembered it was always his.

He just needed someone to stand beside him

as he reached for it.

I am proud that God chose me

to help anoint the emperor rising inside of him.

Hence, that’s what he is now,

not just a survivor,

but a soul awakened.

A king of light.

And one day,

when another trembling soul begins to slip,

he will be the one who stays.

He will say, “Not on my watch.”

He will remember what was done for him,

and he will pass the torch.

I didn’t just hold his hand in the dark.

I helped change the light in his heart,

and made space for his angels to install an eternal one.

His dark night of the soul did not bury him.

It delivered him

into the very light he always knew existed.

The one between here and there.

For every soul who walks through the night and chooses to stay.

You are not alone.

The Job I’d Do For Free

What job would you do for free?

The job I would do for free is

save another’s life.

Not with capes or sirens.

But with presence. With listening. With the courage to say,

“You matter. I see you. Let’s get through this-together.”

Sometimes saving a life looks like recognizing when something’s off.

Sometimes it’s trusting your gut when a friend says, “I’m just tired.”

Sometimes it’s listening not just with your ears, but with your heart.

And sometimes, most powerfully, it’s helping someone find the courage to speak up.

Because when they do, everything can change.

I’ve seen it happen.

A strong, grounded man I care about nearly lost his life, not from what you’d expect, but from staying silent too long. What looked like confusion or even mental illness turned out to be viral meningitis.

Deadly. Invisible. Treatable, if caught in time.

And he’s still here.

Not because he toughed it out.

But because he said, “Something’s not right.”

And someone listened.

So yes, I’d do that job for free.

Every time.

Because one moment of courage, one honest conversation, one act of listening with love-

Can save a life.

No paycheck needed.

Just a heart that’s awake.

When Words Become Lifelines: A Message to Men About the Power of Speaking Up

This isn’t just a message for men. It’s for every waking soul. But today, I’m talking especially to you-brothers, fathers, sons, friends.

Dear Men:

There are moments in life when the weight becomes unbearable. When fear creeps in silently, cloaked in confusion, exhaustion, or even shame. For men especially, these moments often come with a dangerous lie attached: you have to figure it out alone.

But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

It’s Okay to Speak Up When the Walls Are Crumbling

We believe you. There is hope.Trust me, there is always a reason, even if you can’t see it yet.

The world has taught you to be silent. To be strong. To hold it together, even when everything inside is breaking.

Yet , the truth is, some of the strongest things a man can say are:

“I am not okay.”

“Something feels off.”

“I need help.”

I recently walked through something profound with a dear friend. A man who is strong, sharp, well-grounded, and deeply respected. He wasn’t feeling well. What seemed like the flu or maybe COVID turned into something darker. Something that rattled him.

He began to hallucinate.

He felt confusion.

He experienced memory loss.

For ten long days, he said nothing. Perhaps he wasn’t sure. Perhaps fear crept in and he didn’t want to seem “crazy.”

Until one day, he gathered the kind of courage we don’t talk about enough,

He spoke up.

He said,

“I’m not well.”

“I’m scared.”

“This isn’t me.”

At first glance, what looked like a textbook case of schizophrenia was actually viral meningitis, a severe brain infection that could have taken his life if left untreated in the psychiatric ward.

What almost got ignored, dismissed, or mislabeled as mental illness was something entirely different. Something deadly.

Had he stayed silent, I might not be telling this story at all.

He survived because he used his voice.

He chose words over silence.

He trusted those around him to listen.

Not just with their ears but with their hearts.

You see, this wasn’t just about him.

He’d lost friends, men, who didn’t speak up. Men who are no longer here. Men whose stories ended in heartbreak and mystery.

He knew, deep down, he couldn’t put us through that again.

This is your reminder:

You don’t have to suffer quietly.

You don’t have to wait until it gets worse.

You don’t have to “man up” your way into a hospital bed, or worse.

Speak up.

For yourself.

For the ones who love you.

For the ones who didn’t make it.

For the ones watching you, learning how to be strong and still be honest.

Strength isn’t silence.

Strength is knowing when to raise your voice.

Strength is letting others in.

Strength is being brave enough to say, “I don’t feel right.”

To those listening, really listening, pay attention. Misdiagnosis happens more than we think. Sometimes, the only symptom is a quiet whisper of the soul: Something isn’t right.

So listen with your ears.

But also listen with your heart.

Your soul.

Your presence.

One moment of courage can change a life.

One voice, raised in truth, can save it.

We believe you.

We’re with you.

You are never alone.

Speak up. Please. You are not cursed. You are being called.

I Only Allow Love In

What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?

Affirmation:

My gut and my mind are not always in agreement.

They argue, sometimes softly, sometimes like thunder.

My mind is quick to whisper,

“You’re overreacting.”

“You’re being paranoid again.”

“Don’t make this a bigger deal than it is.”

And sometimes I listen.

But when the signs start to stack,

day after day, feeling after feeling,

drawer falling, tire deflating, flowers arriving uninvited,

my life training kicks in.

The part of me that’s lived through things.

The part of me that’s been right before and screamed,

“I TOLD YOU SO”

more times than I care to count.

Sometimes, yes, I’m wrong.

And that’s okay. I can live with being wrong.

But what if I wasn’t wrong?

What if I was spiritually protected?

That’s for the Universe to decide.

That’s God’s work to confirm or correct in time.

All I know is this:

Saying it out loud,

Knocking on my own forehead like “Girl, wake up,”

Praying to God even when I feel silly.

It works.

That knowing inside me?

It’s real.

It’s mine.

And yet, what I need most in those moments

is not more signs, or even more certainty.

It’s validation.

From the ones who love me.

The ones I live and breathe for.

The ones who I fiercely protect, even when they don’t see what I see.

So here it is. A new vow. A new line in the sand:

From this point forward, I only allow love to enter,

My life,

My heart,

And my doors.

If it brings chaos, confusion, or dishonesty,

It stops at the threshold.

Because I am a woman of discernment.

And I no longer need permission to protect my peace.

Amen 

The One Who Walks Their Own Way

Which aspects do you think makes a person unique?

Which aspects make a person unique?

A unique person often doesn’t realize just how special they are to those around them. Their uniqueness isn’t loud or attention seeking. It’s quiet, sincere, and deeply felt. They carry good intentions in all they do, guided by a pure heart and an innate ability to light up any room simply by being present.

They are both sensitive and strong. Emotionally in tune, yet anchored by unwavering willpower. They walk their own path, dancing to the beat of their own drum, undeterred by society’s expectations. Kindness and respect come naturally to them, as does the willingness to help without being asked.

With a sharp sense of intuition, they can read any room and assess what’s needed, but they also know when to step back with grace. They’re the kind of person you notice when they’re missing. The kind whose presence lingers even in their absence. They laugh with you, not at you, and understand the delicate balance between “my time” and “our time,” always honoring authenticity above all else.

They have little patience for inauthenticity, inconsistency, or unreliability, especially in the workplace. Narcissism, manipulation, or any form of darkness is met with silent resistance and strong personal boundaries. They don’t aim to be perfect, nor do they pretend to be. But their uniqueness is unmistakable, and those fortunate enough to know them recognize the rare gift of their presence.

The Remebering

I still think about those hands sometimes.

That moment in the backseat of Grandma Shirley’s maroon car—my tiny body scooting across velvet, the smell of smoke in the air, the weight of something I couldn’t explain pressing into my awareness. I was just a child, but I was being called to remember. Not just a life, but a truth.

These aren’t my hands.

That’s what I thought then.

Now I understand—those weren’t just words. They were a message. A breadcrumb. A whisper from beyond time.

The was a game I would play in my bedroom. There would be this desperate scramble of fear and force. It w like receiving life or death proceedings. The weight of imagined bodies, the suffocating stillness at the end. That was never just imagination. That was a memory buried so deep, my soul had to turn it into play just to bring it up for air. But the moment I remembered the gas chambers, I knew, I had carried this pain before. I had been there. And I survived again, in this life, to tell the story.

It’s taken years, a lifetime really, to connect those fragments. But I’ve come to believe that none of it was random. That we, as souls, leave ourselves clues. Seeds. Dreams. Visions. Even strange little memories that don’t seem to belong.

All of it is the divine trying to break through our forgetting.

And now? I remember enough to know this:

I am more than this life.

We all are.

We are made of light. We are pieces of God. We are survivors of lifetimes.

We are the prayers and the miracles, all at once.

So if you’ve ever felt the past echo through your present…

If your spirit has ever jolted awake for a reason you can’t name…

If a child version of you once knew something too big for their body—

Don’t dismiss it.

You’re not broken.

You’re just remembering.